


Roan's Funeral

by sterekwolfstar



Category: Star Wars Legends: Last of The Jedi Series - Jude Watson
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-11
Updated: 2018-10-11
Packaged: 2019-07-29 07:25:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16259450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sterekwolfstar/pseuds/sterekwolfstar
Summary: Ferus is out of it. How can he go on?





	Roan's Funeral

The decision to go to Roan’s funeral was not a decision Ferus had to struggle with-he had to go, no matter the risk. Dona was there with him as he struggled to get dressed. She was one of the few people who knew the extent of his relationship with Roan. They weren’t just business partners or best friends as everyone assumed. They were husbands and soulmates. The image of Vader’s lightsaber piercing Roan’s heart filled his mind, overwhelming him so much that he fell to the couch. Dona moved to sit beside him. 

“Oh Ferus. I wish I could do something, anything for you,” Dona told him softly.

Ferus nodded, though the words didn’t register in his mind. Nothing was right and nothing would ever be right again. Roan was gone. Murdered. In cold blood. For no reason. Because Vader could. He was going to avenge Roan, even if it was the last thing he did. Vader was going to pay. He was going to find out who he was and bring him down. A brief touch on his shoulder from Dona brought him back to reality. “Sorry,” he told her. “It just hurts.” Hurts was an understatement, but he couldn’t describe how he truly felt. 

“Ferus, it’s time,” Malory Lands told him softly. 

Ferus blinked at her, unaware that she had even entered the room. “Ok.” They helped him stand up. He was supposed to be a Jedi. A strong Jedi but he felt the opposite of strong. Somehow he ended up sitting in the front row with Roan’s parents. Roan’s mom took his hand and squeezed it. He didn’t deserve to be sitting here with them.

“You were his husband,” his mother in law told him softly, as if she could read his thoughts. “You are…were important to him and you didn’t do anything to cause his death.” 

Ferus nodded in response as he stared at the coffin in which his husband’s body lay. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. Roan was going to be by Ferus’s side as he continued to search for Jedi. Ferus was going to leave being a double agent behind and…but it was never going to happen. He was now truly alone in life. No one could touch him the way Roan touched him-not just physically but in other ways as well…but Roan was gone. Ferus thought he had felt pain before-when Darra died, when he walked away from the Jedi order, finding out about the purge of the Jedi, Siri’s death-but this was a pain he had never felt before. It was more intense, much worse. Never again would Ferus hear the warmth of Roan’s laugh, feel the love in each and every kiss, or see the smile that rendered him weak in the knees.

The service was short but sweet. Only a few members of Roan’s family as well as a few select friends were able to attend. It was too much of a risk for everyone in Roan’s family to be there. It was a risk for Ferus to be there, but he didn’t care because he wouldn’t and couldn’t miss it. Wil nodded at Ferus before he snuck out the back door once the ceremony was over.

“I wish you could stay for lunch,” Enna told Ferus./p>

“I do too,” he responded with a sigh as he tore his eyes away from the coffin. 

“Ferus, I know that this is difficult for you but I hope you know, you’ll always be part of this family,” Enna told him as Ferus felt warm tears form in his eyes. “No matter what.”

“I love being apart of this family. Roan is everything to me and he always will be,” he said as his mother in law pulled him in for a hug. Ferus felt guilty as he soaked her nice dress with his tears. Enna hugged him tightly. Ferus wondered how she could be so strong and be the one comforting him when he should be the one comforting her.

“Oh Ferus. Please stay. I know you have a lot to do and you need to leave, but please stay, at least for a little bit to get something to eat. You need to eat.” 

Ferus nodded. “Ok.”

“Ferus, you’ll always be my son in law and I am so happy that Roan had you in his life over the past few years,” Enna told Ferus with a soft smile.

“I’m grateful to have had him too. He’s…he was literally the best guy that I have ever met. I am a better man for having him in my life.”

Enna touched Ferus’s cheek. “He was better for having you as well. You brought so much happiness and love into his life. I never thought that he could be so happy before you came here.”

Ferus turned away as a fresh wave of tears fell down his face. “I’ll meet you at your house…Do you mind if I take a few pictures?”

“Of course not,” she replied as Ferus walked over to the display of pictures, taking a few of the ones with him and Roan, one of which was taken on their wedding day. He carefully tucked the pictures into his pocket and nodded at Dona.

“Do you mind coming to eat with me at Enna and Alexir’s house,” he asked Dona quietly.

“Of course not. Let’s go.”

**Author's Note:**

> I know its unlikely Ferus was unable to go to a funeral for Roan in the books but I just imagined he did. And i did cry while writing this which is why I don't write angst but I just needed to get this story out of my system.


End file.
